Someone To Talk To - The Authors Cut

 

Authors Note: Today is our 41st wedding anniversary, and I thought I'd share a little story with you – actually the first story I wrote for my book Every Song Has a Story. When I first started writing, I used the lyrics as a prompt – a guide really, to lead me through my memories. I never intended to publish, I was writing for myself, for our daughters enjoyment and for my wife Sheila. It was my attempt at putting a love story – our love story – into words. As the number of stories grew, Sheila gave me a lot of encouragement to publish and after many years, I did.

This is the “final draft” of this story with the song lyrics embedded. For those of you who have read the book, I think this will give you some insight – a look into what was going on in my head and my heart at the time. For those of you who haven’t read the book – it’s available on Amazon and reading it now will make Volume II (due later this year) that much more enjoyable ;-).

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Married couples seldom forget their "first dance song". It's usually accompanied by memories of the day and promises that were made. When I hear ours, I'm reminded about the night of our engagement and how wonderful it is when someone believes in you.

I hope you enjoy it.

 

Peter

 

 

 

 

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I usually start playing this particular CD in early September. Memories associated with all of the songs come flooding back and it takes a few listens to start separating them, and bring back the memories in more vivid detail.

Billy Joel’s breakthrough album The Stranger was released on September 29, 1977 - about the time I came to my senses and realized that Sheila was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The album quickly became our favorite and one of the first decisions we made when we were engaged was to make Just the Way You Are our first dance as husband and wife.

It was probably the easiest decision we made.

 

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

The song fit us. We met at summer jobs in The City (New York of course) became friends and talked before we started dating. It only got better when we (finally) started dating (and that’s another song and another story). We sat in my car (a ’65 Corvair with PowerGlide transmission for those of you wondering) in front of her apartment talking for hours after our first date (well okay, maybe there was some kissing too). Being with Sheila was so natural, so comfortable, it was as if I had known this person my entire life.

It took me a while, but I finally came to realize that Sheila had become the most important person in my life. No one had ever taken the time to listen to me or to accept me the way she did. I knew Sheila loved me and I knew I loved her. There wasn’t anyone I trusted more with all the parts of my life than I trusted her.

So why was I so nervous? And why had I been so nervous for so long?

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I arrived early to pick Sheila up for our date the evening I proposed. 

I knew she would still be getting ready when I arrived. She would never expect me to be early - hell, I was never on time. I did this on purpose so I could ask her parents permission to marry her. I thought it was the right thing to do. She was quite flustered and obviously not ready when I showed up at her door and I had the alone time I wanted and got the approval from her parents I sought. I hoped it was the first in a series of yeses.

We had dated for six years before I finally asked her to marry me.  Marriage was forever - at least that’s what I was taught. And if it was forever, well, I better make sure that this was the person I wanted to spend forever with. So I told friends that this was a commitment and I wanted to be sure.

I was lying. I was afraid.

I wasn’t afraid of marriage or till death to you part.

I was afraid she would say no.

She had every reason to say no.

I wasn’t the best boyfriend I could have been and my act had become all too familiar to Sheila. She had seen me at my worst. More than once I was sure she would walk away and I believed she would have been perfectly justified.

It took all the courage I could muster to propose and the relief I felt when she said yes was like a building being lifted from my chest.

It was short lived.

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

When we went back to her family’s apartment later that evening, Sheila and her sister’s were excitedly chattering about the proposal with “Did he get down on his knee?” “Were you surprised?” “Did you pick a date?” “What color will the bridesmaid dresses be?” hurling through the air in rapid fire.

Her parents congratulated us and with a bit too much self satisfaction,  I told Sheila how I had arrived early so I could ask her parents permission. While I was telling my story, her mother pulled out a bottle of 25 year old Scotch she kept for special occasions and as she toasted us, looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and asked: “What would you have done if I said no?”

Spitting 25 year old scotch in someones face was just not appropriate, so I choked it down and smiled. But her comment was enough to get my overactive sense of low self esteem into overdrive.

What if Sheila was saving her no for the altar?

Wait, she would never do anything like that.

Right?

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

The months before our wedding were a blur. Everything seemed to happen so fast even though it looked like slow motion. We were so busy, I didn’t have time to worry and fret - until I heard our impending nuptials announced on the radio. The morning DJ on WPLJ announced the weekends weddings on Saturday mornings and Sheila’s youngest sister had sent our announcement in. When I heard our name it hit again...

... she wouldn’t say no - right?

Later that morning I left to meet my groomsmen at my brother-in-law’s apartment on the upper west side. I stopped by the reception hall on the way up and was amazed by how beautiful it looked. Everything really was going to be perfect.

Right?

When we got to the church, my brother and I waited in the vestibule until it was time to take our places. I’m not sure who was more nervous, me or my Best Man, but we were quite the pair of twitching, babbling fools you ever did see.

Finally, we were told it was time to take our places. The music began and the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked up the aisle. I was beginning to get that nervous feeling again and it didn’t help that my brother kept checking his pocket, I guess to make sure the ring was still there. When the music changed to Trumpet Voluntary, I caught my first glimpse of Sheila

She was beautiful!

I was terrified!

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart

 

 

It got worse as she got closer. I actually started to tremble. Okay, I was shaking like a Polaroid picture. Was she really going to say yes? Something in my heart told me that I didn’t deserve her, and the closer she got, the more I believed it and the harder I shook.

When she reached me at the front of the church, it was obvious she could see how nervous I was. Hell, my friend in the balcony could see me shaking - and he had a good laugh about it, making sure I saw him laughing. He later told me I did a perfect impersonation of a bowl of jello and wished he had a movie camera and not a still.

Sheila just smiled at me and took my hand. She gave it a squeeze and looked and said “It’s ok, don’t worry.” She tried to comfort me, ease my fears, and let me know through her presence that she was there with me and for me. When it came time for the vows, Sheila looked me straight in the eye and her “I do” rang out loud and clear throughout the church. There was no doubt that she was saying yes! The jitters stopped and as the liturgy continued she looked over, smiled and gave my hand another squeeze. It finally dawned on me.

She said yes.

When we were introduced at the reception and walked to center of the dance floor, the familiar melody filled the room. I thought we were the only two people in the room and we moved together in time to the music. We were in perfect sync. I couldn’t help myself and started softly singing to her. That’s when I realized that I had really missed the meaning of the song. Sheila believed in us. She believed in me more than I believed in myself. That’s when I knew I got so much more than I ever hoped for.

Right! Everything was perfect.

I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Billy Joel wrote this song about his first wife, Elizabeth and gave it to her as a birthday present. After 9 years of marriage, Joel divorced Elizabeth in 1982. His next wife was model Christie Brinkley, and that marriage also ended in divorce.

He didn't perform this song in concert for quite some time. He still doesn't perform it often.

We still dance to it.

Who we are now is so different from the people we were when we were first married. We have changed ... and change can be good. 

Kids, relocation, jobs and loss of jobs, income and loss of income, adult children moving home, and the stresses of everyday life take a toll. It can change you. And it would have been so easy to loose each other in all of that change. Unless ...

... unless we looked at it as an opportunity to learn more about, and fall more in love with this ever changing person that we said “that’s forever” to.

After 41 years, I’m still madly in love with this remarkable woman and I can’t understand how I got so lucky. It hasn’t been easy. Turns out marriage is more than a commitment, it’s work. It isn’t easy and we do have our ups and downs. But if I really want our marriage to last forever, I have to work at it. I’ve come to realize that our love only stops growing if I let it. It’s my choice.

But it’s a lot easier when someone believes in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart

 

 

And so, every once in a while, we cue up this song and dance in our living room while remembering the promises we made to each other.

There is one big difference though. When we hold each other and sway to this song in our living room, I change the words ... just a little.

I’ll try to love you, even better
I’ll love you just the way you are.

Happy Anniversary baby! I will always love you, just the way you are.

"Just the Way You Are" 
Single by Billy Joel from the album The Stranger B-side "Get It Right the First Time"
Released September 1977 Format 7”
Recorded 1977 Genre Pop rock, Soft rock
Length 4:47 (album version) 3:36 (single version)
Label Columbia
Writer(s) Billy Joel
Producer Phil Ramone
Certification Gold (RIAA)